Episode 14, “Gloval’s Report”

This one is probably going to be a short one because yes, it’s a clip show episode. I always hate clips shows because they seem like such a waste of an episode.

We open up on the SDF-1 still floating in the middle of the Pacific and Captain Gloval is in his quarters starting a voice report for his superiors in the United Earth Government. Of course he opens up with the first episode and how the Zentraedi came and the SDF-1 fired the main gun. He then goes on to say how the aliens kicked the shit out of the orbital fleet that the Earth forces had in orbit. He then starts to talk about all the ground forces landing on the island and some how mentions the episode with Rick and Minmei almost getting killed by the giant alien, until Roy showed up and shot him from behind. And in this scene, they actually show the Zentraedi being shot to death, I don’t know why they didn’t show it in the first episode. Especially since the remastered versions were supposed to have restored the more graphic shots of violence. Oh well, we finally get to see it here.

And you know what, he just goes on to mention the space fold and how they ended up in Pluto’s orbit, then he talks about how they figured out that the SDF-1 is modular and they can change into attack mode. IE, Big giant robot form. He then goes on about the battle of Saturn’s Rings then the Battle of Mars. Everything that we’ve known up to this point. See, that’s why I hate clip shows, they just show and talk about shit we already know. I only included this screen shot of this Monster Destroid because it looks cool!

Gloval then reports that the Zentraedi sent their message identifying themselves and demanding a surrender. We then get to the episodes where Rick, Lisa, Ben and Max were captured, interrogated and finally their big escape. I guess right here is where he’s giving them really crucial information as to the size of their fleet, their massive fire power, the constant mentioning of Protoculture and the fact that the Zentraedi know nothing of how their technology works. Oh, and the small detail that the SDF-1 probably has the secret of this all powerful Protoculture.

We finally get to some original content and it’s Lisa brown nosing Gloval by bringing him a much needed cup of coffee. He takes the time to relax and they both enjoy the view of the sunset of the Pacific. He goes on to tell her that when he received command of the SDF-1 he had a feeling that something awful was going to happen. Shit he was right about that. He goes on to tell her that the ship still has some secrets but he has no idea what they can be.

So yeah, there wasn’t much to this episode at all. I can understand why they would do this, though. Mostly it was to squeeze in yet another episode so that they could get the episode count higher. The other reason is to inform anyone who has come to the series late and gave them back ground as to how our heroes got to this point. This episode also means that we’re pratically half way to finishing the best part of Robotech, The Macross Saga.

Robotech Death Count: Zero. Unless you count the thousands of Humans and Zentraedi who have died since the beginning of the series.

Episode 11, “First Contact”

We continue with the story line with Rick, Lisa, Max and Ben being captured by the Zentraedi. Like I’ve said before, for some reason I can’t stand these episodes.

Right away we begin with Breetai hitting Ben’s Battaloid with a huge piece of pipe and he completely flattens him with it. Breetai is so damn strong he knocks Rick’s weapon out of his hands and sends it flying right towards Lisa. She narrowly escapes being crushed like a bug, but she then get’s capture and get’s put into a green smelly looking Zentraedi sack. Max meanwhile is trying to avoid getting killed by a bunch of rifle fire from all the Zentraedi grunts inside the hanger bay. Rick is still struggling with Breetai and the fight quickly ends with Breetai slamming Rick’s Battaloid against a wall with a bunch of spikes in it and he’s completely fucked now because he can’t get free. Breetai notices this and so he starts to completely destroy the Battaloid, ripping all the armor off until he see’s Rick inside of the cockpit. Rick in a panic decides to eject from it, but Breetai acting like he’s fucking Michael Jordan jumps up into the air and easily catches him.

The whole thing ends with Rick’s fighter exploding and Max get’s sucked out into space from the gigantic hole it made in the hull. The soldiers start asking Breetai if he’s alright since the explosion practically happened at point blank range. But he doesn’t even have a scratch on him. He says, “I am not built as weakly as you” Which is true, because not only can he survive huge explosions, he can also withstand the vacuum of space.

The narrator comes on and informs us the viewer how Zentraedi scientists, namely Exedore are subjecting them to a bunch of tests. Breetai notices that Lisa appears to be a female. Exedore tells him that all the tests that he did on her confirms that she is. Instead of you know, just looking at her and being able to tell.

Rick is the first to wake up and he can’t wake up Ben for the life of him because he’s lazy as hell. Lisa then wakes up all disoriented. She asks him what’s going on and right away Rick does a dick move and starts to blame her for being captured. He goes on to say that it’s all thanks to her stupid recon mission even though it was Gloval who gave the order. He then goes on to say that she shouldn’t have been given the assignment because she’s a woman. Right away she get’s all pissed off and starts to tear him a new asshole.

Breetai and Exedore meanwhile notice their arguing and Breetai says that it seems like they have more of a fighting nature then they realized. Shit, if he only knew. Exedore then tells us that that’s what happens when Males and Females get together and that they’ve stopped the practice long ago. Breetai is sicken by what he see’s that he has to turn off the monitor because he’s getting a huge crushing headache. Exedore then suggests that they take the prisoners to see Dolza the supreme leader of the Zentraedi himself.

Back to Lisa and Rick’s bullshit argument, Lisa is now telling Rick what a shitty job he did protecting her and the recon plane and that he handled the Battaloid pretty bad too. All of a sudden they’re interrupted by Ben waking up from his long ass nap. Funny enough outside of the hull of the ship Max is doing the same thing that Breetai did in the previous episode and is slowly making his way back inside. He notices close up the ship is badly in need in repairs and he says to himself that repairing things isn’t exactly their forete.

Inside the little glass sphere where they’re being held Lisa busts out a Micro camera even though it just looks like a regular camera to me. Rick being an asshole tells Lisa what good it’ll do for them while they’re stuck in there. All of a sudden Breetai’s ship does a fold maneuver and off they go to their home base. Right away Rick and Lisa realize how boned they are now and any hope of escape is now dashed. Back on board the SDF-1 Gloval and the bridge crew notice the giant flash and their sensor’s confirm that it was a fold maneuver. Of course they all assume the worst that they’ll never see Lisa again.

Outside the Chinese restaurant Roy is waiting by the door having a smoke and it’s obvious that he’s waiting for Minmei to come home. All solemn, he tells her that he hasn’t returned from flying an important mission. Right away she blurts out, “You mean he’s been killed?!” Roy tries to reassure her that they don’t know that yet and that they’ve just lost contact with him. But she keeps repeating that he’s dead and then runs off crying. She goes to their secret spot where she almost fell to her death and for once thinks about Rick and wonders where he can be.

Back to Breetai’s ship Ben wonders where they’re being taken to and wow. Lisa says that it’s already been 10 Earth days since they’ve left on that fold operation. So shit, the rest of the Zentraedi fleet must be in the other side of the galaxy then. Ben goes on to mention that Minmei must have had some sort of debut and Rick get’s all bummed and starts to imagine how much she’s enjoying her life, even though he’s missing and presumed dead. In a flash back he remembers her telling him that she wrote a song called, My Boyfriend’s A Pilot. Even though not once through out the coarse of the series is there such a song. At least in Robotech that is. Anyways, most of his flashback is him being blown off by Minmei because she’s too busy for him now.

Finally the ship comes out of the fold and all three get scared out of their minds because it’s clear that there’s thousands, millions of Zentraedi ships out there and they realize that the Earth has no chance in hell of winning a war with them. They see some light out in the distance and it’s clear that it’s the Zentraedi’s peanut shaped home base.

The base is so fucking huge that it’s more of a small planetoid. Max meanwhile is wondering around and hides in a giant sized Zentraedi rest room and that’s when some soldier walks in to take a mean huge dump and spots Max. Before he can do anything Max kicks the shit out of him and drags him back inside.

Inside the base the three Zentraedi spies are trying to give their report again and they go on to tell Dolza, who is a huge bald Zenraedi all about feeling funny in their bodies when they saw the female Micronians. Dolza’s stupid theory is that since both male and females work together he thinks that they’ve managed to invent some sort of new reflex weapon. He then tells Breetai that he’s coming aboard his ship to interrogate them. To himself he fears that the Micronians have discovered the secrets of something he calls Protoculture.

We come upon an interrogation room and Lisa turns on her video recorder. Dolza walks in and talks to them in English which amazes them. Right away they order the chubby one Ben to start talking. But Ben says that he doesn’t know shit and isn’t saying a word. Dolza then asks them why they’re attacking them for but Rick blurts out that they’re the one’s who are the aggressors. They then start asking them what they know of this Protoculture stuff. Ben says that no one there knows what the hell they’re talking about. Lisa tells him to shut up and starts telling Dolza that she will no longer subject her and her men to their questions.

Back to Max, he some how stripped the Zentraedi soldier of his uniform and tries to act like one of them, even getting past some random trooper. Dolza in an act of anger demonstrates the might of the Zentraedi armada and destroys a near by planet just for the hell of it. The results are that it turns the once furtile looking planet into a moonscape. Lisa decides to fuck with him and tells him that she doesn’t believe that they have enough power to overtake the SDF-1. Of course this pisses off Dolza and he picks her up, ready to turn her into jelly if she doesn’t answer how they become Micronians.

He squeezes her so hard that she passes out. Rick begins to explain that they’re actually born that way. Exedore all confused says, “Yes, but born from what is the question?” Man, these guys are seriously repressed. Rick and Ben then explain how humans are actually born from females. Instead of talking about boning, Ben says something about the Birds and the Bees and love being in the equation. Breetai wants to know how one expresses love and Ben says by kissing. They then tell Ben and Rick to kiss but they’re both all, “Fuck no!” Lisa then volunteers to kiss Rick because she wants their reaction on the video recorder. Rick asks her why doesn’t she do it with Ben but she’s obviously put off by him. Stupid Rick finally agrees to it after she makes it a direct order and once they go for the kiss he says in his mind, “Forgive me Minmei.” I don’t know why he’s thinking this since she practically friend zoned him and made it clear that she’s not interested in him.

Their little romantic moment is interrupted by all the Zentraedi in the room making disgusted noises like they wanna throw up. Dolza mentions Protoculture again and then orders them to be taken out of his sight. In some corridor Max spots them being taken away on a rolling cart and decides to follow them to their holding cell. Inside all three are amazed at how the Zentraedi reacted like they were scared to death at watching them kiss. Shit imagine if they saw a porno, end of the war right there. Lisa notices that there aren’t any civilians in their society and that the sexes are segregated.

In the interrogation room Breetai is wondering out loud why they all reacted the way they did. That’s when Dolza decides to tell them a little bit about their history and Protoculture. It seems that Protoculture is the power source for their technology and that their ancient ancestors discovered it. He goes on to say that in the beginning they were once the same size as Humans and that they also lived with females in something they called a society. Everyone in the room can’t believe that they were once like the Micronians. Dolza goes on to explain that through the use of Protoculture they were able to evolve, but through out the years and wars they’ve lost the secrets of it. So finally after all these episodes we find out why they want the SDF-1 captured intact and it’s because they believe that all those secrets are on board the ship.

Back on the battle fortress Minmei is in her dressing room getting ready for her big TV debut. Surprisingly she’s still down about Rick missing in action, but she doesn’t dwell too long. Someone tells her that she’s almost on and she get’s this big cheery smile on her face. We get a quick shot of Roy and Claudia and we can tell that he looks very worried thinking about Rick. Minmei get’s introduced and you just know that Rick is completely forgotten to her now. She goes on to sing this song called Stage Fright and it’s a song that we’ll be hearing for the rest of the series. So much so that you’ll get sick of hearing it over and over.

Like, I’ve said, not one of my favorites, but still far from the worst episode. At least we the audience now knows why the Zentraedi have started this war to begin with.

Firsts: Zentraedi Fleet Headquarters first seen as well as first appearance of Supreme Commander Dolza.

Robotech Death Count: Zero.